Tuesday, April 24, 2012


So, it's been a very long time since I've posted. I know this.  I've been feeling very VERY frustrated.  I've been stalled out for a MONTH, fluctuating within 500 grams (or 1 lb) every time I weigh.  I have lost a small amount of centimetres.  I've been eating properly and working out regularly and yet still stalled.  I even increased my calories in case that was the reason (about a week ago) and no results from that yet.  Even before I stalled out I was feeling like a failure even when I was succeeding. It's very difficult when you're doing nearly exactly the same thing as someone else and they're results are so much better.
Honestly I often feel like giving up.  What's the point of all my efforts if I'm getting NO results anymore?  The wind is seriously coming out of my sails and I feel like I'm just drifting.  I'm working hard and nothing is coming of it.  I've thought about stopping counting my calories, as when we lost weight the last time we didn't count, and it seemed to come off easily then, so I don't know if I'm too focused on that or what.
I've also considered stopping running.  I feel frustrated with that as well.  Yesterday morning, got up before 6am to go for a run. I honestly ran for about a minute and realised I didn't have it in me.  Talk about frustrating. When I run with Melanie, I feel like I hold her back. She runs at a faster pace and can run for longer than I can.  So either I'm holding her back, or I feel pushed TOO much (not intentionally by her, more of my own need to try to keep up). Then I feel pissed off that I can't.
So I don't know anymore.
That's it for today.