Gotta go, Gotta Move my body!

So even after a full day at work today (I work part time in retail) I had to workout tonight...my body told me I HAD too. I did what it told me to do. I was later then usual, after dinner and the kids were in bed, and only for 20 mins before the legs got too wobbly.  And it was 20 mins on my elliptical in my garage but I went 6.7km (that's 4.1 miles for my non-metric friends) at it. But 20 minutes is better then 0. Right?!
I love this feeling .. I have to admitted when I did my weight loss last time I got addicted to the gym, to working out and moving. I love that worn out but satisfied feeling after a great workout. Even when you think your tired and cant move anymore. You can ALWAYS wring a little extra out when your body yells at you to do it. Im really feeling positive about this all. Im feeling inspired and on track. we have been eating well ( No regular pasta tonight we ate Slim pasta)  With our sauce tonight! No optional extras during the day. Eating what we should be when we should be ( well except Poor Sa and her meal Mix up today!)  Feeling in control and On track! One week down for me!!!

Anyhow...Yesterday, before we went to the gym we took some new "before" photos and in the interest of accountability Im going to put mine up here. Im a little ashamed of myself. I worked hard to trim down and I really feel uncomfortable in my skin at the moment. Especially in my lower body. My bum and legs are really blah to me. This is an area that I have always struggled with. anyway...here they are...

Front On.

Side on. Ugh.

 Anyway. There it is. my big butt And all. My biggest problem area. I know i have a booty..i just want it smaller! A LOT smaller.


Till next time all. My bed calls.

Four for Four

So today is day 4 for me of decent physical activity.  I walked from work to the mall (4.2km) in 37 minutes, at 2pm and it was HOT and SUNNY!  I was sweatin like crazy but I did it.  I walked two weeks ago too.

So starting work at 6am, I grabbed a frozen meal out of the freezer this morning, not paying attention to what it was.  9:30am, go to eat my lunch and there's a meal with prawns! ewwww I grabbed Mel's meal instead of mine.  So, for lunch I had a very small apple, and snagged a couple triangles of sandwich from the kids (there was plenty left over).   I had a very small protein bar around 12:30 or so, then a boost (mmmmmmmm mango magic) and a decent protein bar at 3ish.  

Anyway, I got lost in this blog thing trying to approve a comment from Hope. I stumbled upon it by accident and then couldn't find my way out!! This is why I leave everything technical, besides typing to Melanie.

We took pictures yesterday. I'm debating whether or not to put them up.  I hate the way I look right now so I don't know if I'll be brave enough to or not.

Plans are to hit the gym tomorrow morning (I may skive off a lecture) which will be good.  I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it'll be a bit quieter than Monday morning when it was PACKED!

um, Thank you. That is all.

Back again.

Alright, I'm back.

I've attempted to do something about my anxiety and depression, and while it's definitely not gone, I do think I'm doing a little better. I started actively trying to do better Saturday I think. I'm still having trouble craving naughty things. It's so easy to grab a cookie for myself when giving some to the kids, but I've not. Yesterday I felt a bit like crap. Melanie thinks it was sugar withdrawals. May have been. I wasn't eating THAT much sugar before, but might have been enough to give me a headache and make me feel blah.

Sunday and Monday we went to the gym. I did 35 minutes of cardio Sunday, and 30 Monday. Plus weights. It feels good to be back there. We're going again tonight which will be good.

I'm having a bit of trouble balancing everything right now as well. My university work load seems more, and I'm not not one to plop on a bike with a book in front of me. It doesn't stay anyways. I tried once. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed with that and school and the kids and housework etc, but I'm hoping the exercise will help alleviate some of the stress I'm feeling around all that.

It was this time two years ago I really started my weight loss the first time, and I did so well. I'm hoping that I can be as successful this time as well. After jumping on the scale I see I did actually gain 10 kg (22 lbs) since December. That needs to come off. Would be happy with another 10 as well.

And just to add... my butt hurts from sitting on the bike! Oooww.

Getting back on the horse.

So we have had so many set backs over the last few months. But 5 days Ago I got back on the horse and have been riding full steam at it. Eating well ( rode my bike to work a few times even) and gyming it twice in two days even! Now Im planing to Get back to blogging regular like. I need support and accountability. This blog is gonna be it. Im turning *cough cough mumble mumble* 30....*cough cough* in November, So I want to be looking more like me. I dont feel like me right now. I have gained back just over 20kg of the weight I lost back in 2009 (53kg). I feel frumpy and unhealthy. So Starting now( well 5 days ago) Im on the wagon. Back on the path to me. ( Im full of bad cliche's tonight) Im bring Sa along for the ride again. She has struggled recently, but we are both focused and on track to get our groove back.

Anyhow, I went over a heap of posts on my favourite blog last night (Ben Does Life) and watched some of his earlier clips of his journey to Do Life. And Im feeling full of inspiration. Had a few laughs at His Hijinx On the road recently (Great Lipsyncing action) and got some motivation up my sleaves. He has inspired me to attempt to run again. this is something I really want to be able to do. In fact it was one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. I was doing C25K and got up to week 4 before I fell off. so Im hoping to gain some fitness back and attempt it again soon. I have been able to jog a little on the treadmil at the gym so Im not completely unable to do it. Im planing to keep at it. I WILL run 5k before this year is out. I promise.

Till Next blog.

What's the point really?

I've been away a long time. When I was in Canada for a bit, I was eating nearly perfectly. Excercising when I could and lost weight. I came home looking good and feeling good. Now I feel completely awful. I'm eating crap and hardly moving. I had to suspend my gym membership in March because I didn't have the money for it, I restarted it a couple weeks ago, and have gone twice I think. We have an eliptical in the house, but it's different and I don't like the movement of it.
Basically I'm eating junk and not moving. I'm comfort eating due to some pretty serious depression (I think) and it's not working. I'll feel good for a minute, then feel guilty. There are times when I think, what's the fucking point?? Just eat what you want. Then I feel like crap and my skin's breaking out and I realize I shouldn't be eating so much junk. Then again I need something comforting and it's a vicious circle.
I'm exhausted, dispite having, on most nights about 9 hours sleep, by 1pm I'm ready for a nap.

Part of me wants to get my act together and get back down to my low weight, and another part of me just says fuck it.

Although I haven't gained a LOT, I have probably gained 15-20lbs at least since getting back her in December. My stomach's annoying me, I can feel my theighs are bigger in my work pants, my bra's don't fit properly and in pictures especially I can see it in my face. Near on everyday I think I should get up and go on the eliptical for a little while. Lamely, I tell myself it's hardly worth changing clothes for 15-20 minutes on there, and I just don't.

I'm caught between battling mindsets. Feeling eager to move and eat right one minute and then feeling depressed and needing SOMETHING to make me feel better. I start Uni again next week and I really don't know how I'm going to get through it. I haven't got much concentration. When I start to read, I feel like I'm going to drift off to sleep.

So I'm stuck. I don't know what to do, or how to fix anything. I'm lost in my own head, hardly thinking life's worth any effort at all.

Two week update!

 So I have been eating well and exercising for two weeks now, And I am feeling so good!! It has come back almost like a favourite pair of shoes...Like I never stopped! Need to step up the exercise a little more..but after hitting the gym last week I was SORE!!!! But I still managed to get on my Elliptical during the week.  Hit the gym Yesterday...and Going again today...AND tomorrow! CANT WAIT!!!!

In my pursuit of getting fit and healthy again I have been doing some food/recipe forging...I wanted some ideas on good healthy interesting things for breakfast. In this hunt I stumbled upon Oatmeal pancakes. There are SOOOO many recipes out there and after looking around decided to wing it and make up my own.

And of course it follows:

Mel's Oatmeal Pancakes.

3 egg whites

1/2 cup of Oat flour

3 pks of Sweetener

2 tablespoons Self raising Flour

3/4 Cup of Quick oats

3/4 cup of warmed skim milk. (  a couple of Tablespoons reserved )

Vanilla to taste

A dash of Cinnamon

• Combine the Oats( not the flour) with the warm milk and allow to stand. Alternately Combine them the night before and refrigerate over night to soften .   
• Beat the egg whites to a stiff peak, adding the sweetener. 
• In the bowl with the softened oats combine all the other dry Ingredients combining well.
• Gently Fold the egg whites through. If they are not quiet runny enough...gently stir in a tablespoon  at a time of skim milk til slightly runnier.

When combined  ladle about 1/4 of mixture per pancake onto a medium-low heated fry pan. ( I used a non stick pan without adding anything to it)  you may need too add the spreading to give and even thickness. Be sure to not over heat the pan. They do take longer to cook than regular pancakes hence the lower heat.  When They are a nice golden brown flip them over. The second side doesnt take as long and wont be as golden.  This recipe made me about 6 pancakes. Which is about 3 serves. (2 pancakes a serve)

I served them With Low fat vanilla yogurt and Frozen raspberries.  Nutrition Panel below. :)

Hiya blogger World.....remember me?

Yeah...I have been SUPER slack. Like Really really really slack. I got a new job in march and pretty much have NOT worked out a lot since. I am guessing..But I think its safe to say that i have gained back at least 20 of the 53 kg that I lost. :(  So as of this week I am back on the straight and narrow and aim to get those numbers back down. Im really sad that I have let myself down so much. I had worked SO fucking hard to get that weight off. :(

So What am I doing...? Food diary You can find it here. And getting my arse moving. I have hit my elliptical 2 times this week so far. Aiming to get on there tonight after the kids are in bed too. I want to be BACK at my skinny mini weight by my birthday..the BIG 30! Its June and my birthday in November. I can damn well do this!!!

You will be hearing from me...You have my word.


☼ Mel ☼