pathetic

So it's been 3 and a half months since I posted last. I've started school again, my final semester, and at times, working two part time jobs. Not much has changed. I've made a few good attempts but they only last a couple days.  I've had a few unpleasant wake up calls that are telling me it's time to really get serious.  Last week I bought an elliptical from my cousin for $100. It's a pretty good one too.  Due to my time constraints I have put my gym membership on hold because honestly, I just can't get there, so I'm going to focus on using the elliptical at least until I'm done with school.

So I've decided with Halloween behind us, and almost two months until Christmas, I can make a good start at getting back to it. Today I got on my new elliptical and went... and realized just how out of shape I was. After two minutes I wanted to stop. I didn't, but I wanted to so bad.  I paused twice, I had trouble breathing and I lasted ten minutes. Pitiful and embarrassing really. But it's a starting point again. Tomorrow, I will go for longer. Even if just a minute and every time after that a little bit longer again until I'm doing at least 30 minutes.  I may not get on there everyday, but I'm aiming for at least every other day at this point until I can get my endurance up again.

Besides this, bad food is my enemy. It's two faced. It pretends to be my friend and turns on me.  So, no more.  I know this is where most of my battle lies.  Being overwhelmed with school and assignments with working on top of this, I reach for comfort and while I'm reaching I think "don't do that, you know what it's going to do" and I put it in my mouth anyway.  Well no more.  Halloween candy is gone... I've told the others in my house not to buy junk food because they think I might like it.  I'm done.  I will not let myself fall back to where I was.  Really, I've only gained about 10 lbs, but I can feel in my body how it is. I've lost a lot of muscle and gain more fat and I need to reverse that pronto.

So, here is my pledge, I WILL workout at least every other day for increasing amounts of time each session until I can easily do 30 minutes on my elliptical.  I WILL add hand weights and body resistance exercises after I have done this.  I WILL NOT eat chips, muffins, chocolate, candies, fast food or deserts.  I WILL eat the serving sizes suggested, and not more. I WILL check in here at least once a week, even if no one is reading this (although, if anyone is, encouragement is very welcome).

Sa