Saturday, September 24, 2011


Ahhh, just back from the gym.  We cleaned all morning as there is an inspection on Tuesday, will be doing more tomorrow, and then lunch and a bit of school work then the gym.  I peddled my ass off.  Right now, this 

Seems to be so true for me.  Some reason I always seem to lag behind Melanie.  I don't know why. I feel like I put in all the effort I have.  I feel like I'm keeping pace, but she always seems to pull ahead of me.  Is it that she's going harder than me? I don't feel like it.  Is it her short little legs? Possibly?  I don't know what it is, but a lot of the time I feel like I just didn't do well enough.  I don't know how many times I've said to myself that I shouldn't compare myself to anyone. I'm doing the best I can, but somehow I can't seem to help it.  Most of the time I just can't stop myself from comparing. It sucks.  I suppose it sometimes gives me a bit of motivation to go faster, but then I still don't end up catching up! *sigh*  Well, I just need to remind myself that as long as I'm moving and doing the best that I can, I'm doing well.

Really it's not only at the gym.  Her clothes are looser on her than mine are on me, she's dropping weight faster etc.  I know we are two totally different bodies who hold and lose their weight differently, but still. It would be nice for me to be able to FEEL some progress as well.

Anyways, on to other things....  Was told in the car ride home I need to lesson my free weights.  I'm only using 3kg (6.6lbs), but Melanie says it will just bulk me up instead of really helping me lose fat. Which is what I want to do, but I also like the feeling of the muscles there.  I know muscle weighs more than fat, so if I gain too much muscle too fast, it will appear I'm not losing or even gaining weight.  *sigh* I know she knows best, but it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing more when I can lift these weights successfully.  Gah.  I shall take her advise, as I usually do, and lessen my weights down to 2kg's and do more reps.

That is all.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

4kg down!

So I jumped on the scales this morning, not literally of course, but anyways, I'm down 4 kg (8.8lbs) from my start weight. When was that? two weeks? three? I don't know, anyways, that made me feel good, because I've been frustrated that I haven't really been able to feel any loss in my clothes.  Although yesterday I did notice the arms in my work shirt (which I wear usually once a week) were not a snug. Yay.    I was feeling disheartened. Like I wasn't getting anywhere, but hopefully it'll catch up to my clothes soon. Maybe I'm just losing all over but slowly instead of one noticeable place at once.
I think I'm getting sick too. I've got a husky voice and cough a little. I really don't need or want it. GO AWAY. Makes working out impossible.  I'm looking forward to our weekend gym work outs.  We seem to be able to get the most time in and the best all around workout then.   The other day as I was stretching at the end, I thought I could have stayed there all day.

This weekend will also be full of cleaning. There's a house inspection on Tuesday. (blah) which means everything must be spic and span.  Which will last a day as the kids are on school holidays.  Good thing I'm on break too for a week, even though I'll still be studying and organising.

I think this is all for now. Ooh, tomorrow we're going to take the kids to a local museum and down to the beach. Should be nice!

Monday, September 19, 2011

The girl...


I found one within my budget at Sunnygirl. And my boobs fit! I really Like it, and I figure If I wear it twice, I can always sell it after. Im content. One less thing to stress about now!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Ramblings of a Woman without a dress.

So I have a wedding to attend in just under 2 weeks. And I have an issue. I have NOTHING to wear. Now Im not talking nothing new/nothing that appeals in my wardrobe nothing. I'm talking absolutely nothing. Since I have gained weight back none of my lovely little black numbers fit properly. :( Which makes me sad, cause then I wouldn't be looking all over for something to wear. I have looked at a couple of dresses, but unfortunately I'm having Breast Overflow Issues ( B.O.I). There was two dresses that I have really loved . I just cant zip them up. Im just not going to be able to slim into them in 2 weeks. I did have the unexpected pleasure of being told I was an "extra small" in a certain retail store, which kinda made my day. But still did not allow me to find anything due to the fact they only had one dress left in that size.  Now I need to find SOMETHING to wear. And hopefully re-wear to another social function next month. So Im sure this will be a topic of great rambling till I find "The Dress".  I apologise in advance. :p

Anyway, I have been looking around on Pinterest and have made myself a "Inspirational" folder of images and quotes. I love this site. It reminds me of a giant cork board that you can share. It appeals to my inner stalker too. I can trawl through so many different boards, find images and ideas that I may not have found on my own!And borrow ( ok steal maybe) them! them. Like this beauty;

How perfect is that. That is EXACTLY what I am aiming for. To be Strong, healthy and happy. There are some really awesome images on Pinterest that really help me to feel inspired. Sadly there is also some really distasteful and unhealthy images Or as its called "thinspiration" . It makes me sad to think so many women aspire to be so unhealthily thin. :( I don't think that there is anything beautiful about an undernourished bone thin woman. I know that some woman are naturally very slim and I'm not saying that they are unhealthy. But intentionally depriving yourself of food or over exercising to achieve a bone thin silhouette, IS unhealthy. And its such a shame that there is so much pressure out there to be "skinny".  I aspire to be healthy. I hope you do too.

Aspiring to be healthy,

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Gym = Meltdown prevention

So today I felt like I needed to go to the gym, after happily finishing a 2000 word essay about children's literature and then realising I couldn't use one of the books which was a little more than half the essay. So, in place of a severe meltdown, I went to the gym.  I ran 3 mins walked 2 for a bit then ran 2 mins walked 2.  My right knee has given me trouble before when I've tried to run and it seems like it's only when I run for 3 minutes continually, and it started acting up today. Feels alright now, but will start to use my brace again if I intend on running.  Did a few weights, then jumped on the bike for 20 mins and did nearly 8km.
I did a bit of people watching today.  Not really intentionally, I just noticed some things.   One girl was running a bit like Phoebe on Friends.  HUGE long strides and I thought for sure she was going to fall off the end! Another woman, thin as a rail, was leisurely peddling on a bike, got up, did something else, and came back to the bike next to me. She would have been on the think for maybe 2-3 minutes and was peddling at 50 rpms.  Really? REALLY?  I was peddling twice as fast as she was.  Then she left. Must have been there all of 15 minutes and was gone.  I don't understand why she bothered?

So, between the bike and run I did 10kms today. YAY.  Tomorrow we're going to have a good intense session which I feel I really need. I've been feeling slack this week, but it's not for lack of wanting.  We just haven't really had the chance to get to the gym.  I've still been eating well, and on Thursday when I weighed in I'd lost just another kg (or 2.2 lbs). But it's still 2.5kg (5.5lbs) since I started two weeks ago.  I'm yet to feel much in my clothes, but my body itself feels tighter.  I noticed most in my sides, just feeling held in better.

But yeah, I think that's all for now.  Just have to go rework that essay and fix it up.  Good think I noticed with still a week left before it's due.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

UGH and Other obscenities.

Ugh..Yep. This week has been a little lack lustre for me. Been eating well and exercising, BUT I have had several nights or really BAD sleep. Now for me to say they are really bad is a significant thing. I struggle with decent sleep on a daily basis,  I guess you could say I suffer from a form of insomnia.   I take herbal sleeping aids (Valerian, hops, passionflower etc) nightly to help me to get to sleep and wake somewhat refreshed. But for several nights I have woken up and been unable to get back to sleep for several hours. This resulted in me be flat out exhausted more than usual.  I was in a dazed fog on Tuesday, which lead to another issue. Whilst at the gym doing my thing I  have over done it a little and now my left knee (and my shins but not as much as my knee) is really causing me some discomfort. (pain!!!)  So no gym for me today. Will still try to get out and walk again. We did last night but I pushed it again and ran a little...probably shouldn't have..But I REALLY wanted too!  So I will be easing off on the running till it feels better. :(

On another note, scales are not being as nice to me this week. I put this down to a lot of soreness in my body and the fact I probably have not been drinking enough water. I know that water is very important when trying to lose weight ( and get healthy) and when Im busy I tend to forget. I did a few hours of housework yesterday and realised I had not drunk any water...Promptly got on that and felt a little better. I don't usually bring water with me when I walk either cause I hate carrying it and I usually chew gum. Another terrible habitat with water. But I do try to get at least my 2 litres in every day.

So today is also R U OK? day. This is a cause close to my heart, having struggled from depression and anxiety in my life. Its all about Suicide prevention. So many people out there feel so alone that they take their own lives,  leaving behind loved ones, families and children.  Simply asking those close to you, who might be struggling "R U OKAY?" could save their life. Have you asked your friends if they R OK lately??  I urge you to ask the question. It could make the difference to them. Do it today!

Anyway, Im feeling really good in myself, I feel fitter and already feeling more toned, less bloated and generally much healthier. and really when it all comes down to it, this is what Im aiming for. being a fitter, healthier, happier me.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Insert clever title here

So after Sunday's fiasco (I shall call it that, because although I did it I did not do as I wanted to) I started to get irritated about the jogging and how exhausted I was and that I couldn't finish the podcast.  I thought to myself, self, you were doing more intervals on the treadmill for longer and you were fine, it's the stupid weather and smoke and hilliness, etc. So today I wanted to prove my point.  I just did 20 minutes on the treadmill, but I ran for 10 of them. Granted there were 5 2 minute intervals, but I'm nowhere near doing that in one chunk and I know it.  For now I settle for intervals.  I did them just fine, no breathlessness, no exhaustion, just good sweaty heavy breathing.
So, I do not like you outdoor running, no I don't.  At least not structured running where I feel I have to do what some guy tells me.  If I do it again I'll do it on my own terms and when I feel like I can.

Anyways, so besides that today, I have upped my weight on some things. Today I focused on my upper body and abs as the flabbiness in those areas was irritating me especially today.  So 100 things on the ab machine, and 100 things on the twisty machine (don't say that's cheating 'cause it does work AND I did normal ones later), did a bunch of bicep curls and various tricep exercises. In between these I jumped on the bike and did a hilly stint for 15 minutes just to get my heart rate back up.

All in all a good workout.  I'm itching to get on the scale now, but will attempt to refrain until Friday.  I'm not feeling much loss in my body though which sucks, but we'll see what the number say as I've been super good with my eating and moving, although we did rest yesterday as well. Melanie's shins hurt and I've got 4 major assignments due next week.

That is all for now.Off to eat some lunch and go to school.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Super Sunday!

Well Ok, maybe not super Sunday, but it has been a pretty decent Sunday so far. Well for the most part.
As I said yesterday, we went off early this morning to go do the Riverway circuit. It was lovely and cool, a slight hint of smoke in the air due to some local bushfires but a great day to be outside and working out. We started out early enough that the air was nice and the sun was only just starting to warm up. We had every intention of using the Podcast of C25k (week 2) to pace ourselves. I managed to finish off the podcast as planned but as Sa said she struggled a little today. But by the end of the podcast she had caught up with me. So while she may not have been able to pace to the podcast I think she did ok!  So as promised I took some pictures using my the process I misplaced my drivers license.:(  We went back to where I had taken my phone out hoping that I might find it with no luck. :(  But anyway... Some pictures!!

We did the Orange Circuit. where you see the blue lines is the section we did three times! GAH!

Sa Pretending she was Dying. Lol
A proper sweaty Mess!
Some of our view! Lots to see!

DUCKS!!! Lots and LOTS of ducks!

Looked very inviting! Maybe one day we can do some laps here?

That last Picture was taken just before I realised My License wasn't in the "fanny pack" ( Bumbag we call it here) and we back tracked to try to find it. So that added on a bit to our workout. But we still kicked it in a decent time I think.

Then I got home and went with The Family to a family Birthday party (FIL turned 60 today!). I even ate well there..turned down not one..but TWO Delicious looking cakes! I ate an apple I brought from home instead!

So there you have it folks! A Sunday workout in pictures!

Riverway walk/jog

So we went to Riverway this morning at 9am.  Nice, didn't seem too hot, nice breeze, we were doing week 2 of c25k.  Started out alright, I made it through 2 intervals of running, noticing how different it was than on the treadmill.  I started to wilt.  We've had bush fires lately and there was one burning.  It started to feel really hot and I couldn't catch my breath from the heat and smoke. So, wah wah wah, I failed. Couldn't do it.  I ran on my own intervals when I could and ended up catching up to Melanie (she did it properly) about a min into the 5 min cool down.  Then we walked, took some pics which are on her phone so I'll let her post, and then realised she'd dropped her drivers licence. DOH!  So back we went...(this is what made the 3.7km into 5k's). Didn't find it so hopefully someone will send it to her.
Anyways, I have loads of school work to do and the house will be quiet for a while today as everyone else is going out. I need to take advantage of that time and do some serious work.

I may attempt to do the c25k on the treadmill, but not sure about doing it on roads yet. Would have to be cool enough and no fires going. And my knee bothers me when I run for intervals longer than 3 mins.

That is all.  Pictures to follow.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Steaming On....and on..and on...

Thought I should pipe in here...We have been doing really well this week! Im so happy with our progress and or dedication to working out. We did miss Friday, but that was due to me being flat out exhausted (late shift at work Thursday night) and my feet really hurting. And in spite of not being able to sleep very well last night we even dragged our bums to the gym this afternoon for a short but sweet workout. I was off my game today, only managing 15 minutes on the treadmill instead of my usual 30 but I knew it was gonna be a short one. I was beat but really needed the workout. I attempted a new ( well out of my routine) cross trainer type machine to finish off my workout. Just to spice it up some. Upped some of my weights which felt great. Planning on "freestyle" workout tomorrow. We are going to hit the Riverway loop early and get it in the bag before it gets too hot (and I have a family commitment). Its roughly about 4.5k  long and its a nice scenic view.  We might be able to get some nice "workout" pictures too? Looking forward to it...Providing I sleep ok tonight. ( Stupid wind banging the blinds in my room!)

So Im feeling right up there on the top of the world right now... Im  not as dedicated as Sa is to staying off the scales. I have weighed myself a couple of times and I am happy to report that since Sunday's post gym weight I am down 2.9kg ( Or 6.3lbs) !!! So thrilled. I love seeing those numbers go down. And it really keeps me on track. One day when I am less embarrassed by the numbers on the scale I might actually photograph those weighs. But well...Not yet. And Maybe. No promises.

This week has been interesting. This is the first time I have had to try to combine working out with all my now usual daily events  ( kids, cleaning, cooking etc). Previously I was a SAHM when I did my journey to fitness and health, so pulling all this together with work has been something I have had to get use too. I think, in time It will be just fine. I actually don't mind hitting the gym first thing in the morning before heading into work, although it does seem a little busy there then. We will figure out schedule that will work best for us.

So that's my little update for now. I will likely be back tomorrow with another update of our riverway workout. and maybe some pics too.

Till tomorrow!

Imma idiot

I'm such a fucking idiot.  After a short but good stint at the gym, I come home, shower etc, and sit down in front of my laptop.  Open it up, and this is what I see....

I had left a pen inside and closed it without realising it. The only reason I can use it is because I've hooked it up to Melanie's old monitor.  This is gonna cost me.  I only got this laptop in December. Wonderful.  So after a very productive day of completing one out of four essays for Uni, and nearly completing another, washing clothes and sheets and getting to the gym this upended my day.  I was in a good mood before this.  Technically it's still under warranty, but knowing the business, it's unlikely they'll fix it under warranty.

Sigh. Anyway, on my weigh in on Friday I had lost 1.5 kg (nearly 4lbs?) in 4 1/2 days.  I am going to wait to weigh again until this Friday.  Oh, I got a new purple gym singlet which I likes a lot.

So I'm leaving for now.  I'm in a foul mood so I'll spare you all. One good thing about tonight.... fresh clean sheets. mmmmmmm clean sheets.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Day 5

So I was gonna weigh in today, but I figure I'll leave it until Friday and do it then.

I um...sort of ditched a lecture today and went to the gym instead (that's a good reason, right?)  They only would have been talking about electricity and I DID do the pre-requisite reading for it. AND I listened to a different lecture on my mp3 player while at the gym. Even if it was VERY quiet, damn volume.
Anyways, today I did just about 3 km's in 30 mins.  I did some intervals with 2 mins of jogging and 1 1/2 min walking, about 4 or 5 of them.  Then I also did some inclines.  I keep the treadmill at a 2.5 or 3 incline when I'm walking or jogging anyway, but then hiked it up to between 9-11 at different times.  Then did some weights, found the chest presses easier, may increase the weight next time, and did more reps of the hip abductor and other things. Got on a bike on random (hilly) for 15 mins with a 3 min cool down.  Felt great but my butt and thighs are sore and will be tomorrow.  It was only on level 5 but it's a start and I consistently pedaled between 85 rpms and 100. Then, some abs and arm work and a stretch.  Was a good hour and a half or so.

Well, I suppose I'll add my pictures as well.  I'm pissed at myself as well for letting me get big again.  I lived in a BIG body (my highest was 108 kg or 240lbs, I'm 5'6) for 10 years and loved how at felt at my lowest (77 kg or 170lbs).  I felt fit and strong and like I looked good.  I was super happy with myself. Now, not so much.

Like Melanie said, food's been good, we've both been active for the past 5 days so, here's looking forward to that skinny me again, even though my goal was a bit lower than that.

Here's my dreadful pictures from two days ago.  We haven't decided how often to take photos.

September 6, 2011

So, I wont be wearing that shirt for a while either, it kept creeping up on me while I was working out.  Obviously need some work on my belly, thighs and arms and hips.  I was also informed a few days ago that I was "getting a booty" Melanie's words... So, basically I usually have a flat butt. No getting around it, so umm, I guess I need my flat butt back??  I dunno, but it needs to fit back into my shorts as summer's just around the corner.

Thank you, come again.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Gotta go, Gotta Move my body!

So even after a full day at work today (I work part time in retail) I had to workout body told me I HAD too. I did what it told me to do. I was later then usual, after dinner and the kids were in bed, and only for 20 mins before the legs got too wobbly.  And it was 20 mins on my elliptical in my garage but I went 6.7km (that's 4.1 miles for my non-metric friends) at it. But 20 minutes is better then 0. Right?!
I love this feeling .. I have to admitted when I did my weight loss last time I got addicted to the gym, to working out and moving. I love that worn out but satisfied feeling after a great workout. Even when you think your tired and cant move anymore. You can ALWAYS wring a little extra out when your body yells at you to do it. Im really feeling positive about this all. Im feeling inspired and on track. we have been eating well ( No regular pasta tonight we ate Slim pasta)  With our sauce tonight! No optional extras during the day. Eating what we should be when we should be ( well except Poor Sa and her meal Mix up today!)  Feeling in control and On track! One week down for me!!!

Anyhow...Yesterday, before we went to the gym we took some new "before" photos and in the interest of accountability Im going to put mine up here. Im a little ashamed of myself. I worked hard to trim down and I really feel uncomfortable in my skin at the moment. Especially in my lower body. My bum and legs are really blah to me. This is an area that I have always struggled with. they are...

Front On.

Side on. Ugh.

 Anyway. There it is. my big butt And all. My biggest problem area. I know i have a booty..i just want it smaller! A LOT smaller.

Till next time all. My bed calls.

Four for Four

So today is day 4 for me of decent physical activity.  I walked from work to the mall (4.2km) in 37 minutes, at 2pm and it was HOT and SUNNY!  I was sweatin like crazy but I did it.  I walked two weeks ago too.

So starting work at 6am, I grabbed a frozen meal out of the freezer this morning, not paying attention to what it was.  9:30am, go to eat my lunch and there's a meal with prawns! ewwww I grabbed Mel's meal instead of mine.  So, for lunch I had a very small apple, and snagged a couple triangles of sandwich from the kids (there was plenty left over).   I had a very small protein bar around 12:30 or so, then a boost (mmmmmmmm mango magic) and a decent protein bar at 3ish.  

Anyway, I got lost in this blog thing trying to approve a comment from Hope. I stumbled upon it by accident and then couldn't find my way out!! This is why I leave everything technical, besides typing to Melanie.

We took pictures yesterday. I'm debating whether or not to put them up.  I hate the way I look right now so I don't know if I'll be brave enough to or not.

Plans are to hit the gym tomorrow morning (I may skive off a lecture) which will be good.  I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it'll be a bit quieter than Monday morning when it was PACKED!

um, Thank you. That is all.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Back again.

Alright, I'm back.

I've attempted to do something about my anxiety and depression, and while it's definitely not gone, I do think I'm doing a little better. I started actively trying to do better Saturday I think. I'm still having trouble craving naughty things. It's so easy to grab a cookie for myself when giving some to the kids, but I've not. Yesterday I felt a bit like crap. Melanie thinks it was sugar withdrawals. May have been. I wasn't eating THAT much sugar before, but might have been enough to give me a headache and make me feel blah.
Sunday and Monday we went to the gym. I did 35 minutes of cardio Sunday, and 30 Monday. Plus weights. It feels good to be back there. We're going again tonight which will be good.

I'm having a bit of trouble balancing everything right now as well. My university work load seems more, and I'm not not one to plop on a bike with a book in front of me. It doesn't stay anyways. I tried once. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed with that and school and the kids and housework etc, but I'm hoping the exercise will help alleviate some of the stress I'm feeling around all that.

It was this time two years ago I really started my weight loss the first time, and I did so well. I'm hoping that I can be as successful this time as well. After jumping on the scale I see I did actually gain 10 kg (22 lbs) since December. That needs to come off. Would be happy with another 10 as well.

And just to add... my butt hurts from sitting on the bike! Oooww.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Getting back on the horse.

So we have had so many set backs over the last few months. But 5 days Ago I got back on the horse and have been riding full steam at it. Eating well ( rode my bike to work a few times even) and gyming it twice in two days even! Now Im planing to Get back to blogging regular like. I need support and accountability. This blog is gonna be it. Im turning *cough cough mumble mumble* 30....*cough cough* in November, So I want to be looking more like me. I dont feel like me right now. I have gained back just over 20kg of the weight I lost back in 2009 (53kg). I feel frumpy and unhealthy. So Starting now( well 5 days ago) Im on the wagon. Back on the path to me. ( Im full of bad cliche's tonight) Im bring Sa along for the ride again. She has struggled recently, but we are both focused and on track to get our groove back.
Anyhow, I went over a heap of posts on my favourite blog last night (Ben Does Life) and watched some of his earlier clips of his journey to Do Life. And Im feeling full of inspiration. Had a few laughs at His Hijinx On the road recently (Great Lipsyncing action) and got some motivation up my sleaves. He has inspired me to attempt to run again. this is something I really want to be able to do. In fact it was one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. I was doing C25K and got up to week 4 before I fell off. so Im hoping to gain some fitness back and attempt it again soon. I have been able to jog a little on the treadmil at the gym so Im not completely unable to do it. Im planing to keep at it. I WILL run 5k before this year is out. I promise.
Till Next blog.